Species Annus Coulterus PostOp Bandaids

An undisclosed surgeon, familiar with the saline testicular enlargement procedure and other modes of anatomical reassignment surgery has confirmed that Ann Coulter is a post-operative anusssexual, known in lay terms as an asshole. During it's lifetime, Anus Coulterus has likely dreamed exclusively of homosexual acts, but remains as of yet a Gold Star. Notice in this television broadcast, how broad and puckered Coulter's rectal features are. Reconstructive surgery can only work so many miracles.